According to a (relatively) recent USA Today article, Boston's own beloved Dunkies is planning to arm itself with stale munchkins (Do you know how hard munchkins get after a few days? Someone could lose an eye.) and invade Krispy territory, leaving a swath of glazed carnage in its wake.
Out of the goodness of my cold Northeastern heart, I have compiled a helpful list of tips for those lucky people who will soon be entering a Dunkin' Donuts for the first time. Don't thank me. That powdered sugar on your chin is thanks enough.
1) If you think the service is bad, you're right. It's not just a temporary problem while the new stores get up and running. Best to think of it as an opportunity to get the true Boston experience.
2) 1 Dunkin' donut = 1/8 Krispy Kreme. This means that you can eat 8 Dunkin' donuts for each Krsipy Kreme you would normally consume. At least, that's how I look at it.
3) The pumpkin muffins are seasonal, like the Shamrock Shake. Plan accordingly.
4) No matter what the big orange sign in the window says, the D+D cappucino is only one small step up from that machine they have at 7/11
5) If you want your coffee without sugar, you have to say "no sugar." If you don't specify, you will get a beverage that tastes like Rhode Island's official state drink.
6) The perfect hangover cure: 1 egg and cheese on a croissant; 1 Boston cream; 1 Great One. Low-fat muffins will only exacerbate your symptoms.
Recently, Beyond Madison Avenue asked people to weigh in on two current HIV awareness campaigns. One features the headline "HIV is a Gay Disease." The body copy elaborates on this and performs a neat little thought-provoking rhetorical twist. The other campaign shows headless people getting it on along with the tagline "It's easy to lose your head when you're horney." The headless spots are stylish and disturbing; they are German. Adrants has recently joined the discussion.
Do the Gay Disease spots perpetrate a fallacy that activists and Magic Johnson have been fighting for over 20 years? The body copy is smart, poignant and well written, but who will get that far? According to several Websites, including Copyblogger, only 2 out of 10 people read body copy while 8 out of 10 people read headlines. The Gay Disease ads are smart and risky. For those 2 people who read the entire page, the risk will pay off, but are those acceptable odds for such a hot-button issue? Also, will teenage boys shamelessly masturbate to the creepy headless/horney spots?
Want to spend 30 minutes doing something that afterwards will make you remember that life is short and you really need to start living every moment like it's your last?
Watch E!'s "House of Carters."It is guaranteed to make you ashamed of yourself. After I watched an episode this weekend, I was convinced that the University of Connecticut was going to bust down my door and repossess the diploma they gave me lo those many years ago, which is a long winded way of saying that THIS SHOW MAKES YOU STUPIDER AS YOU WATCH.
The fact that Nick and Aaron Carter could buy and sell me like pork bellies is beyond depressing. The only thing keeping me from Carter-induced suicide is this skit from the good people over at SNL. Some people in the entertainment industry are still actually talented and entertaining and deserving of their fame, fortune and designer drugs.
Those crazy kids over at Gawker have recently expanded their public service by creating a Douchebag Hall of Fame (BTW, according to Microsoft Word, "Douchebag" is two words, i.e. "Douche Bag"). This is a great idea and sure to provide hours of the highest form of Edutainment. However, they refuse to include "any run-of-the-mill douchebag; we want top notch douchebags, whose notoriety has come via the wonder of the Internet. " I believe that run-of-the-mill Douchebags (or Douche Bags) deserve thier moment to shine. So, in a selfless act of generosity (which is in no way a desperate attempt to get some comments up in this blog), I would like to open up the comments section of this post to those of you who know someone who is worthy of Douchebag (or Douche Bag) recognition, but does not qualify for Gawker's high-falutin' "Douchebag Hall of Fame."
Not sure what to write? Here, I'll get you started.
Dear Tedious Charm, I would like to nominate to the Douchebag (or Douche Bag) Hall of Mediocrity every boyfriend I ever had before I met my husband. I would also like to nominate anyone who read the previous sentence and sinckered, "Well, THAT'S a short list."
I'm a little behind the times, but Butler, Shine, Stern & Partners has an interesting "Secret Decoder Campaign" running for MINI (thanks, AdRants). You can also check it out at the GBMINI WEBLOG. Apparently, MINI placed ads that you can only read with a decoder that was sent exclusively to MINI owners. Cool idea, but there's one catch: isn't advertising supposed reel in new customers, especially for a product like a car that most people don't buy more than once every 3-5 years?
The opportunity to read an ad that I tore out of a magazine at my doctor's office is NOT going to push me to make a purchase decision. But I've helpfully compiled a list of "reveals" that might get me to buy a MINI, if I was shopping for a car anyway:
1) An official outline of the next 5 seasons of LOST written by JJ Abrams and hand delivered Josh Holloway
2) The name of the man Carly Simon is singing about in "You're So Vain"
3) The last chapter of Harry Potter book number 7 -- also hand delivered by Josh Holloway Come on, MINI, get on it. The 1999 Honda my mother gave me 2 years ago ain't getting any younger.
Here's a very funny little ditty from Thomas F. Wilson, the guy who played Biff in the Back to the Future series. Who knew that years later he would be the charming one and Crispin Glover would be the guy mother's are talking about when they disciss "stranger danger" with their children?
According to a (relatively) recent USA Today article, Boston's own beloved Dunkies is planning to arm itself with stale munchkins (Do you know how hard munchkins get after a few days? Someone could lose an eye.) and invade Krispy territory, leaving a swath of glazed carnage in its wake.
